Woman Asks Her Fiancé to Stop Cooking for a Friend. He Asked for the Engagement Ring Back Moná ThomasJuly 24, 2025 at 3:51 AM Getty A man and a woman drink wine from glasses sitting at a table during a romantic dinner at home A woman learns not to come between a man and his hobby, and may have lost ...
- - Woman Asks Her Fiancé to Stop Cooking for a Friend. He Asked for the Engagement Ring Back
Moná ThomasJuly 24, 2025 at 3:51 AM
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A man and a woman drink wine from glasses sitting at a table during a romantic dinner at home
A woman learns not to come between a man and his hobby, and may have lost her relationship in the process.
On the popular Reddit thread "Am I The A------," where posters present their introspective questions to a proverbial council of commenters, a 27-year-old man shared his current dilemma regarding his fiancée and his 34-year-old friend he enjoys cooking for.
The friend, whom the original poster named Jace, is a truck driver who is often on the road and rarely gets a home-cooked meal. So OP, who is "very passionate about cooking," enjoys cooking for Jace when he's in town.
"I love the act of creating food, but sharing it is what's really special to me, whether it's something I've made or a nice meal at a restaurant," wrote OP.
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Boy and girl argument in the kitchen
However, the poster's girlfriend doesn't find the gestures as enjoyable as OP. "My girlfriend (27F) is pretty picky," said the poster. "She won't even touch a majority of the things I cook or split most meals at restaurants, and that's fine. It's the way she's been reacting to other people enjoying my food that bothers me."
OP explained that it's fun for him to plan the dishes, and that giving them to Jace fills Jace with "this sense of warmth," since being on the road is a physically and mentally taxing job. OP wrote that he wants Jace "to feel grounded and at peace" when he's not traveling.
"Basically, I'm giving this man all the comfort food," wrote OP. "Jace is always so appreciative and makes jokes about coming home to his 'wife.'"
However, when OP informed his fiancée that Jace would be returning to town and shared the menu he prepared, she became upset and told OP that she doesn't like that he goes "above and beyond" for Jace.
OP added that while he normally lets the comments roll off, her recent remarks make him feel "less aimed at her own discomfort and moreso just derogatory towards me."
On July 23, a little over a week from the original post, OP followed up with an update and revealed that he and his fiancée are "currently on a break."
Though OP noted that the break may have been closer than he thought, the inciting incident was the fiancée purposely messing up a chicken dish OP was making for Jace.
"I had left the kitchen while it was cooking, and the oven was off when I came back," wrote OP. "I asked my fiancee if she had done it, and she said yes. This resulted in easily the worst fight we've had."
Ultimately, OP asked for the engagement ring back and, after not speaking to her for a few days, realized that he didn't feel any sadness over her absence and deeply wants the entire relationship "to be done."
While many of the commenters agree that the relationship is over, especially after he requested the ring back, the consensus also leans into dissecting the spectrum of love languages and the many ways that can translate in platonic and romantic relationships.
"It might be because he's gay, or they were incompatible from the get-go, but she had no love for his favorite passion, and it formed into resentment," wrote one commenter. Another supporting this sentiment, adding, "When someone can't even respect the thing that makes you feel alive it's already done. Love without support turns into bitterness real quick."
Another Redditor spoke to OP's description of how "warm" making food for Jace makes him feel, noting that it seems romantic. However, another person challenged this idea, adding that it's more possible "that his fiancée doesn't make him feel loved or show any interest in his biggest hobby and he feels warm having someone actually care."
While a couple of people awarded the poster with the label of "NTA," or "Not The A------," it seems he may have learned more about his relationship, or lack thereof, than he originally intended.
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Source: "AOL Lifestyle"
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